Once lived a life as asasian really taught me how hard life could be... I will never forget the 'views' and 'panoramas' of the life of me at UiTM Puncak Alam, Bandar Puncak Alam, Selangor, Malaysia. Even im exhausting in my form 4 life when Im overloaded with responsibilities, this asassian was something else..
I do wrong when I start to jump into the game world when Im almost registered as University student.
I do wrong when I buy a laptop.
I do wrong when I felt so small in the 'mastermind' world.
I do wrong when I decided to take a normal student life and dont shine too much.
I do wrong when I didnt arrange my sleeping pattern.
I do wrong when I hardly
adapt to the 'without mom & dad' situation.
I do wrong when I try to not asking money for mom and dad that making me saving too much on my daily diet till Im often gets hungry and cant focus in class.
I do wrong when I think Im tired cause not getting enough sleep that makes me try to sleep whenever I felt sleeping.
I do wrong when I kept calling mom cause that only makes me missing her too much till I often cry to go home.
I do wrong when I cant sleep in the evening cause evening sleep always charge your energy to stay up studying at night but I just cant...
I barely breathe there. Im dying... I lost... Once I 'wake up' I already in the final examination having my preparation for the last subject, the last paper...
Its not that I cant do it. Its that I did not realize that I can do it.
I know there is a sea of people who having their life mess up, but still, they live. How amazing it is ha... Well, its their determination, their curiosity of what life can give them that keep them alive. How fool I am of forgetting how I enjoyed my life when Im still in my high school.
At that time, I got no one to talk to, but Im always the speaker in the class... I cry whenever I angry or gets tired of my responsibilities but still I laugh till my chair become unstable and I end up rolling on the class's floor for laughing too hard. Im scared of the bigger size students especially the boys, but still when they did something that I dont like, I end up having a fight with them, physically or having 'fierce eyes contact' moment and I never hold back if they start to tease me, I just let what will happen when the feeling of 'the rat of me' become 'the lioness of me', I try to beat them with my petite body...
Reminiscing those moment really inspiring. Im not a great person, not so well-known, not rich, not clever, not pretty either but I have an "I-Like who I am" attitude and thats the thing that make me as me today. Rejoice girl, Im waking up~
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